I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
