then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
