The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
