oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
