Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize