I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I came so hard my ears popped.
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