thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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