with your own penis?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Even my vagina gasped.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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