It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
