If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
