i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
