dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
