Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
