Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I understand Curling. That high.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
