Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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