forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
