She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
