I'm so fucking centered right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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