3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize