if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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