i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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