Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
