We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
