When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
