It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
