So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
