My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize