gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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