She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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