She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
