At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
