You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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