i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
