I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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