Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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