As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
