my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
