The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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