hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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