it wasn't lemon gatorade
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize