yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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