why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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