Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he thought i was a dude.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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