...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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