Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
