Swine flu is the new snow day.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
