The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
