No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
