your parents love me but you hate me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I love you. Go after that dick
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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