nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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