He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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