i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
