His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
