I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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