Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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