So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have post one night stand depression
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
