Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
